Southernisms

A dear sister in our church and I have been going back and forth for a couple of weeks now describing our past week with "southernisms" as I'll call them.  Then, we try to describe what they mean.  We wind up just laughing and laughing.  Here's a few we've come up with:

• Middlin' - this means to just be doing fair.  You don't feel great, but you don't feel poor either.  It's somewhere in the middle, thus you are middlin'.

• Piddlin' - this means to be doing something with no particular purpose.  Twidlin' your thumbs is a perfect example.  Whitlin' is another example.  I'll cover both these next.

• Twidlin' - twirling something, usually in reference to your thumbs.  But I suppose it could be any other object as well.

• Whitlin' - this term is used most often in reference to wood and cutting away at it with a knife.  I think it probably originally comes from the word "whetting", which means to sharpen.  Most people are "whitlin" with no particular purpose, thus they are "piddlin' while they're whitlin".

• Fiddlin' - this term has two meanings.  It could mean to play a musical instrument, namely the fiddle.  Or, it could mean to attempt to fix an object.  You may fiddle with a radio, a car, or anything else electronic or mechanical.

Which words have I forgotten?  Do you have a different definition for some of these?  Please do share!

He Found My Accusations Amusing

Time: August 23rd, Sunday night, 9:30-ish
Place: Wendy's

Table of Stone: Yes, I would like two small fries and a small Frosty.
Cashier: That was two small fries and a Frosty?
Table of Stone: Yep.
Cashier: That will be $5.72.
Me: WHAT??? $5.72??? He must have gotten something wrong. There is NO WAY it could be $5.72. I thought we ordered 99 cent items. Even with tax that doesn't add up to $5.72. I'm going to ask him about it.
Table: Yeah, that doesn't make any sense!

We discuss this until we reach the window, while our friend in the car behind us is laughing. I'm reminiscing my college days when I could pay for a Frosty with change collected in my car. For you "young folk" out there, that was before a Frosty could be "vanilla", or mixed with oreos. If my total is $5.72, I figure I might should ask if he gave us chocolate, since we didn't specify, even though everyone knows that a TRUE Frosty is chocolate.

Me: How much is your Frosty these days? (trying to sound nonchalant, but having a slight edge nonetheless)
Cashier: (smirking behind the counter) It's $1.75.
Me AND Table of Stone: THAT is OUTRAGEOUS! When did they get so expensive? We thought they were still 99 cents. I'm sorry, this is not your fault. You do not have any control over this. We're just shocked.
Cashier: (not responding, but trying desperately not to laugh)

So, we drive away. With our two small fries and single Frosty. I could have bought a whole meal for $5.72.

These conversations are my favorite

On the way home from church Wednesday night, the following conversation was started:


Austin: Who would win in battle, Harry Potter or Optimus Prime? I don't think Avada Kedavra would work on Optimus.

Me: Well, Harry wouldn't use Avada Kedavra anyways.

Austin: Optimus has the big cannon, so you would have to stop that.

Brett: What if Harry used Petrificalous (? - the petrifying one)

Me: I don't think that would work either. I think it only works on organisms - living things. Optimus is made of metal.

Brett: Could he use Reducto?

Me: That could work. Just make him a lot smaller.

Austin: He still has the cannon. What's the spell Professor Umbridge used to make the wall explode? Harry might could use that on Optimus.

Brett: I think Harry would win.

Austin: I think Optimus would win.

It went silent for a moment.

Or, at least, that's what is sounded like in my head. Yesterday, I stepped up to the counter at Chic-Fil-A, my favorite restaurant in the whole world, and I ordered a Chicken-Salad Sandwich. [Shock! Gasp! WHAT???]

I couldn't quite believe it myself. I NEVER order anything but a #5 8-nugget combo meal with a sweet tea. Unless it is a 12-nugget combo meal upgraded (on my super hungry days), or the rare #1 chicken sandwich combo (for a meal on-the-go). I can almost quote the prices by heart. (Pathetic, I know. I did say it was my FAVORITE restaurant.)

So, when I ordered the chicken salad sandwich, I thought everyone behind the counter might just stop what they were doing, and stare at me blankly, like I had lost my mind. But, nothing happened. The hectic lunch hour continued.

I kept reminding myself I was trying to be healthly. And, I truly do love chicken-salad. I had just never tried it at Chic-Fil-A. But, it was only decent. I had just had my favorite chicken-salad sandwhich the day before, which may have had me a bit biased. (Urban Standard, dowtown Birmingham - you must try it!) The best part was eating the whole thing and filling completely full. No fries needed.

Table of Stone says I need to try their wraps. Maybe. But I bet time really would pause if I ordered two new things in the same week.

While on the way to Memphis...

...we had a couple of hours to entertain ourselves. The "we" being me, Table of Stone, our sweet Mama D., Elyow'enay, and BirdTrainer. I brought along 4th Grade Brain Quest, just to be silly and to add a little diversity to our car games, since we usually break out Bible Trivia at some point. We just keep it in the van and quiz ourselves at random. (I'm a nerd/dork/geek/whatever...I know.)

Now, in fourth grade, this Brain Quest set was very hard. There are questions like 1)Is cabbage stem, leaves, or root? or 2) What is the simplest form of 1/8 + 1/8? or 3)Who sang songs like Hey Jude and Let It Be? But as we read through them in the car, we laughed and answered most all of them without problem. I guess you could say it was our own version of Are You Smarter Than a Fourth Grader?

The following is an excerpt of our conversation:


Owl of the Desert: Before becoming President, was Abraham Lincoln a lawyer or a teacher?

Elyow'enay: Abraham Lincoln was a pimp!

BirdTrainer: "Yo, Mary! Go fix me some bread, 'cuz I'm skinny as a rail!"


Good times...oh, yeah.

UnAutomated

This incident happened a couple of weeks ago, but I was just reminded of it reading Amy's post over at Shadows and Dust.

As Hurricane Ike prepared to cross Galveston, TX, one of the companies we have to call occasionally at work had to be evacuated/relocated temporarily. I did not realize the company was based in Galveston and tried calling them regarding a question.

The following took place:

Ring....Ring....

"We're sorry but the (company name) customer service center is temporarily unavailable."

In shock and somewhat dismay over not being able to get my question answered, my natural response was...

"WHAT???"

(Not too loud mind you. I work in a cubicle. So it was only slightly exaggerated and exasperated of a sound. Anyways, it's not like someone is on the other end...it's just a recording...)

To which someone responded:

"Yes. I'm sorry. Please try your call again later."

In shock at someone actually responding to me, I quickly put the phone back on the hook, and started laughing, beginning to tell my co-worker the story. Who would have thought it?